Quote of the day: "Life is a long lesson in humility."- James M. Barrie

     Well, that's a bit of a relief. I am no longer worried about global warming, more accurately described as global climate change. All the carbon dioxide emissions, gas-guzzling sport-utility vehicles, paper or plastic, recycled paper, etc. No more concerns about oil prices, alternative fuels, hydrogen-energy technology, the critical importance of solar energy. I have nothing to worry about anymore!

     We're fucking done, buddy.

     The climate of Earth is changing on a cyclical basis regardless of our influence. Stop beating yourself up, and stop puffing your chest out, humans. We have little effect on the climate of this planet in the long run- that is, when you look at the entire historical perspective of the planet.

     First of all, the sun gives us a lot of heat. Sometimes things that the sun does completely bitch-slaps this planet, things of which we are comically incapable of influencing. Sun spots come and go, causing this planet to freeze and boil at its whim. Sun spots are cool parts, and based on where they are pointing... you catch my drift? Good thing the sun is so far away, and doesn't routinely get closer... oh, shit.

     The orbit of the planet around the sun is such that the global climate radically changes from hot to cold and vice-versa, based on the axis of the planet with relation to the sun, and changes in the elliptical shape of its orbit. We get closer, we get further, the tilt changes. Whatever. The planet has been solid ice far above our heads, and a fiery hell incapable of life. Shit happens.

     The oceans will boil without regard to human presence on the surface based on methane release far below. A solid shelf of methane ice resides below the ocean floors, and it is being released even as we speak (or as I speak at you). Tiny bubbles, floating to the surface, increasing all the time. In time, methane levels in our atmosphere reach a toxic, critical level. The poisonous air may not be the biggest problem, though, as highly-flammable methane has the capacity to ignite without notice; a lightning storm ignites methane, resulting in the equivalent of millions of nuclear bombs going off simultaneously. Maybe by then humans live far below the surface, in super bunkers, and only hear the thunder. Yeah. Maybe.

     The methane doesn't have to come from the oceans to be a problem, either. This layer of permafrost that you keep hearing about is a pretty big deal. Not a lot of people understand that this permafrost, this layer of frozen soil that we are always supposed to have, is safely and effectively containing a large volume of bacteria and plant matter. Bacteria feeding on plant matter, when thawed, will release a great deal of methane into the atmosphere. This permafrost is rapidly thawing, and disappearing. See above for effects.

     What if there was a super volcano, erupting predictably with such force that 3,000 square miles of Earth is blanketed in three feet of ash? Over a billion people would fall victim from the start, and the amount of sulfur dioxide released into the atmosphere would quickly and decisively choke out the planet... There is a super volcano like that, in fact, many. Yellowstone is one, and that takes care of the United States. Last time it erupted was 640,000 years ago, and it's estimated to be about 50,000 years overdue at the moment.

     (Whew... I should stop watching The History Channel...)

     You should still recycle. Reduce your carbon footprint. Invest in alternative fuels and solar energy. Vote green. Conserve water. Buy us some time. Buy your kids some time. Buy their kids some time. Enjoy being here, though. Maybe the next time life evolves and advances on this planet they will find the geologic remains and fossils of us, and worry about the same stuff. Maybe they will learn not to add to the problem. Maybe they will just relax and enjoy the ride.