Quote of the day: "Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on."- Samuel Butler

You can't impress a cat.

You can't catch a bat with a pot¹.

Trees don't need sidewalks. In fact, they aren't that fond of them.

People actually buy watch batteries.

You only have to drink water when you're thirsty. That's why you get thirsty.

Eggs are great.

So is walking. Running. Taking the stairs. Stuff like that.

Things that taste bad or make you feel bad do it on purpose.

Cigarettes and whiskey are good examples of this.

If you have two moths hovering near your light in your bedroom, GET RID OF THEM. If you don't know my story on that, stay tuned. I'm sure I've blogged it before but I'm blogging it again.

Children are always listening.

It's best not to walk on ice when you can avoid it. Putting your hands up and making a retarded face won't keep you from falling on your ass. Or face.

Don't "plan on getting gas soon." Get gas.

Read a lot of books.

Read a lot of people, too.

While you're at it, read my blog a lot.

1- Chris Farley as Mike Donnelly, Black Sheep, 1996.