Quote of the day: "It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny."- Jean Nidetch

     Early evening of Sunday I got in a car accident. It was completely my fault. I'm not gonna go into details too much, but I basically ran a red light because I didn't look to see that it was red. I was reacting to the actions of other vehicles rather than looking up at the light. I struck a car that was turning left, coming from the opposite direction, in the rear passenger-side fender. I would have broadsided the vehicle, probably seriously injuring the passenger, if I had not tried to swerve left to miss the car behind it.

     The driver complained of a slightly sore back, and was taken to a hospital to be checked out. As far as I know, he's fine. I was not injured at all. At the time of the accident, I did not have insurance. I got a ticket for $110 for not stopping at a red light.

     The owner of the other vehicle has uninsured motorists' coverage, and incidentally, the same insurance company that I had previous to the accident and will have again this week.

     Here's what's going on with me. Since Sunday, I have been quite physically sick with worry and general bad feelings for my immediate future. It seems that I will probably be sued by the insurance company, or the vehicle owner, or both; I will be lucky to not somehow have my license suspended for a year, In fact, when the accident happened, I was pretty sure I was going to jail that night.

     Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a very optimistic person. I generally, and genuinely, always feel that things will work out for the best. That somehow, it will be ok. I'm having a hard time keeping that outlook right now. I keep thinking about the various choices and situations that have led me where I am. I keep thinking that perhaps I'm a fool, ignorant and naive, to think that my life will ever be anything but filled with horrible little anecdotes like this.

     Regardless, things are about to be very, very bad for me.

     If I lose my license, it will be very difficult for me to stay in school. I'll have to find a job in town that I can walk to again, and believe me, I'm kinda running out of places to work here. This is a bit of a one-horse town, and I've already worked at a handful of businesses here. This will not make it very easy to get sued, either. Sure, I don't really have anything to be sued for, but if I have to make payments on a judgement out of a small amount of income, it will be very difficult to get back into the position to go back to school (once I get my license back).

     Aside from all of this, things have been very difficult inside my head. There may be some weird crap coming as far as blog posts go. I wonder if I'm losing my mind. Sorry if I seem distracted!

;)