You ever look at someone, and just immediately dislike them? Like, based on no criteria other than maybe, the perpetual look on their face? For instance, if I ever see that lead singer-dude from the band Lifehouse, the only thing I could possibly be thinking of is "If that motherfucker looks at me with that face of his I just don't know what I'll do." Look him up.

     Another thing: do you even realize how big of a douchebag almost every comedian is? There are a few cool ones, like, who would probably be cool people if you ran into them somewhere. Or if they weren't comedians, you would actually let them know that you're having a party later. Know what I mean? Those kind are generally wildly successful. Most of them, though, are just big turd sandwiches.

     Is this mean? Shut up. No, YOU're a mean asshole. Yes you are. Think: you're driving on the interstate for miles and miles, the whole time watching the lanes going the other direction backed up in a hideous, immobile traffic jam. Just as you reach the end, you see some stragglers approaching the back-up. You know that they have no idea what they are about to go through. So you:

a) attempt to signal them and let them know traffic is bad
b) say to someone else in the car, or to yourself, "ohh, those poor people."
c) laugh
d) laugh and squeal with delight. pump your fist like Tiger Woods winning the Masters. slap your steering wheel, tears of pure ecstasy flirting with your eyelids. thank God.

     Now, if you think that you are gonna get away with trying to tell me that you picked anything BUT d... you're not only a mean asshole, but a dirty liar. And just like everyone else.

     Hope you're having a great weekend, assholes! :)