Ah ha 50 things from a Myspace bulletin OMG. Enjoy. This is more fun than you think.

1. Do you like cheese?
- I couldn't like it more if it was made out of milk

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
- No, but I DID stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night

3. Do you own a gun?
- Yes, and I'd have two but one was stolen in a break-in

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
- Only if I have an erection

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
- I think they have bad attitudes and are in store for a rude awakening

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
- 'Christmas in Hollis' by Run DMC

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
- Well, when I am awake in the morning, it's because I'm still awake being awesome, so I'd say tequila or Michelob Ultra

9. Can you do push ups?
- Yes, almost as if I was in the military for six years

10. Is your bathroom clean?
- I'm homeless JERK

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
- I got your mom a heart pendant once

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
- Package bulge

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
- No (I bet you were expecting a cliche ADD joke, eh?)

16. Middle Name?
- Dominick

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1) I'm wearing clothes right now
2) I shouldn't be
3) I wish I could talk to her

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
1) Jagerbomb
2) Cheeseburger
3) Miller Lite 22 oz

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1) Sunkist
2) Michelob Ultra
3) Miller Lite

20. Current worry?
- Always gonna be a failure?

21. Current hate?
- I honestly don't hate anyone right now

22. Favorite place to be?
- Hockey rink

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
- I can't remember... but not because I was drunk

24. Where would you like to go?
- Je voudrais allez a la salle de bain

27. Do you own slippers?
- No

28. What are you wearing?
- White tee and khakis- basically my AWESOME UNIFORM

29. Do you burn or tan?
- I burn first

30. Favorite color?
- That bluish, yellowish, greenish hue of a bruise I leave on your mom's ass

31. Would you be a pirate?
- NO I WOULD NOT IS THIS A JOKE NOT FUNNY

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
- 'Another Song'- Justin Timberlake or 'I Wanna Know'- Joe

35. What's in your pocket right now?
- Cell phone that's BLOWIN' UP

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
- Mike Birbiglia

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
- Red, yellow, and blue dinosaurs

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
- Broken rib

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
- AGAIN WITH THE HOMELESS JOKES

41. Who is your loudest friend?
- Your mom, but we're not exactly "friends"

42. Who is your most silent friend?
- Sometimes I gag her

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
- Probably, I'm irre-fucking-sistable

45. What is your favorite book?
- The Talisman

46. What is your favorite candy?
- Ferrero Rocher

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
- 'At Last'- Etta James

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
- 'Fuck Tha Police'- NWA

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
- Same God damned thing I'm doing tonight

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
- YAY I WOKE UP AGAIN PHONE RINGING OMG